And a new year has begun

January was mostly quiet, except in the mornings, when Beckett was getting ready for school, which were not quiet due to the protests about going to school. At least I didn't have to literally drag him out of the house. On the other hand, he has gotten smart enough to know that drawing out getting dressed keeps him from going to school a little bit longer. Smart little monkey.

On a positive note about Beckett and school, he has such a good class. I found out that Beckett's teacher has talked with his class so they understand that he has challenges and he needs their help and support to deal with his challenges. Mrs. Struthers said that the class is very willing to help him, sometimes too willing. She has also asked a girl in the class to be Beckett's mentor (I guess that would be the right word). He always stands by her in line and she helps him when there is a substitute. She is also the biggest kid in the class, so she totally looks like his body guard, which is good for Beckett because he is the smallest in the class. The nicest thing about this is she seems to like to look out for him. It seems like she genuinely wants to help Beckett. There have been a couple of times when she has told him to come stand by her in line, and the way she says it makes me want go up and give her a big hug. She sounds like she really wants him to be by her. I don't know her name though. Beckett is horrible with names and can't tell me what her name is. Maybe he just doesn't know who I am talking about. Communication is definitely one of his biggest challenges, and I am having a hard time thinking outside the box to come up with different ways to explain stuff to him. (If you can't read between the lines, this is a source of frustration right now.) 

Anyways, back to this class. I have a question to pose to the readers of this blog. Do you have any ideas of what I could do to thank his class for being so wonderful to him? I have thought about taking doughnuts or asking the teacher if we could have a special movie party one afternoon. I don't know. I want the kids to know how much we appreciate them being so good to Beckett and helping him with his challenges. I kind of want it to stand out in their mind so that they will hopefully remember how important it is to accept and help everybody all throughout their lives. That might be asking a little much though, so I am okay with just thanking them. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.

Beckett's class went on another field trip during January. We went to the Ogden Nature Center. Our family has never been before, so I was excited to see what was there. It was super cool. The kids got to go snowshoeing and look for animal autographs. They had so much fun walking around in the snowshoes, and it was fun to watch. Many, if not all, tripped at least once. They also got to pretend to walk like animals, to show the different gates that animals have. They got to touch stuff like snake skin, teeth, skulls, fur, etc. There were stuffed animals all over the place for them to look at. And they had a few animals in cages too. The snake in one of the cages was very active and it really freaked Beckett out. I'm glad that was at the end because he kind of became unglued at that point and was done with the field trip and wanted to go back to school. For the most part, I think he really liked the field trip. But it just wasn't part of his routine and the snake and this one little boy kept annoying him, so by the end of it, he was spent. His teacher said he had to spend the last little bit of the day in the Special Ed room because he kept falling to pieces. This Aspergers thing can really ruin fun days sometimes.

Other days, it makes things so funny and cute.

I love that kid.

On to Anabelle. She is still Little Miss Spunky Pants. I think she wants to add cheerleading to her list of things she conquer someday.

She has also become quite the dancer. She has been a dancer for quite a while, but she has really started to dance a lot lately and she is getting very good at it too. I think we need to look into dance classes.

She is still a budding fashion designer. Her best outfit of January consisted of the dress in the video above, with lime green leggings and a jean mini-skirt underneath the dress. On top of the dress she wore the blue and white striped shirt in the last video with a pink T-shirt on top of that. On her feet, she had these purple slippers that matched the skirt in that same video, with her black Sunday shoes on top of them. I hope you have a good image of her, because I couldn't get her to change before we went to pick up Beckett from school, so I had to take her all dressed up like that. As we were walking to the door that we meet Beckett at, there were people walking behind us. So I said, "Next time we come to get brother from school, we can't wear dress-ups. Okay?" She is a hoot and keeps me on my toes.

Speaking of keeping me on my toes. I have already had to come up with ages for when she can have sleepovers and wearing make-up. That's right, MAKE-UP. I didn't know I would have to come up those numbers already!. Have you guys already decided on them? This girl is going to give us a run for our money before she is even 5! Despite wanting to be an adult at 4, she really is a joy to have. She loves help me clean and tries to be a mother to Beckett whenever she can get away with it. She still loves school and has taken to primary like a duck to water. I can't believe she is in Primary already. Her teacher told me on the second or third Sunday of Sunbeams that she was spelling Anabelle's name on her paper, and Anabelle said she was spelling it wrong and then told her how to spell it correctly. She is just too much. I love my little Bananabelle.

Here are some cute pictures of the kids that I want to share, just because they are cute.

He found my old swim cap and thought it was hilarious.

Vogue!

My 31st birthday was also in January. My sisters and I went to Brian Regan for all of our birthdays this year. It was so much fun. He is so funny. I was dying when he was talking about dancing. It was such a good routine. I haven't laughed that hard in a while and I loved it! Also, Matt and I went to dinner with my parents to Zupas, which is one of the best places to eat. Their chocolate fondue is the best I have ever had. (Even better than the Melting Pot's, except for their smores fondue. That wins them all.) Their soups are heavenly and they have amazing sandwiches and salads, all for pretty decent prices. Go there if you have never been. I promise it is worth it. 

Matt has started his last semester of School. We are so excited for him to be done. There is light at the end of the tunnel. He is taking a Spanish class this semester and it is kicking his butt. Other than that, he likes his classes. His job is still awesome. So life is good for now. I hope I didn't just jinx us.

Pake Lowell

But most people like to refer to as Lake Powell. The kids and I went to Lake Powell with my family and had a great time. I was pretty scared to go all by myself on a trip without Matt to tag-team it with me, but I had so many people there to help out, especially young girls that live to play and take care of little kids. So actually, it was a wonderful trip and I had to do hardly anything, except handle the meltdowns that come with riding on a speedboat, not being allowed to eat candy for dinner or after brushing teeth before going to bed, and peeing in a toilet that isn't allowed to be flushed unless someone goes #2. That last one was a really hard concept for the kids to grasp, which is a good thing I guess. Also, sorry if that disgusts you, but that's how we roll on the ol' Humpherys' Houseboat.

We started the 5+ hour drive at about 8:30 in the morning. Beckett freaked out every time the boat, which was pulled by my brother's truck, would disappear from view or even get more than 20 ft from the car we were in. It was an unpleasant first couple of hours. We put a movie on in hopes of distracting him, which worked to keep him from crying about it, but my dad caught him in the rear view mirror the rest of the way checking on the boat every few minutes or so. At least we know that we will never lose anybody on a road trip with Beckett around.

Other than that, the trip down was rather painless. I guess that is one of the blessings of having older siblings with all of their kids older than mine. I had 2 babysitters in the car, plus my sister and her friend. It was very nice to sit in the front seat and let them handle everything.

Once we got there, we loaded the speedboat with as much luggage, food, and children as we could without sinking it, and headed to the houseboat. It took two trips, but once luggage and persons were all accounted for, we set off into open waters.

Anabelle loved every minute of being on the boat and being with the big kids. In fact, I hardly saw her all week. Even when we were both on the speedboat at the same time, I didn't see her much because she was always up front with the other kids having a great time bouncing on the waves. She is such a dare devil and teenage-wanna-be.

Beckett was nervous about riding on both boats. He was freaking out the whole mile long trip from Bullfrog Marina to the houseboat. Then he was a little uncertain about the houseboat moving. He had to have the doors shut so he couldn't hear the wind (another one of those Asperger things), and for a while, I had to sit with him and help him adjust to the new experience. After about 15 or 20 minutes, Beckett noticed this:

Look at my brave girl, front and center

 
He realized he was missing out on some fun, so he manned up, braved the wind, and ...

I was so proud of him! He rode up there the rest of the 2 hour drive to where we parked the boat.

The next day was a big day. Beckett caught his first fish ever. I don't know if anybody remembers the "Monster Fish" episode we had last year at the cabin, but I was afraid we were never going to get Beckett near another fishing pole even if it meant he wouldn't starve. But he did it. He was really excited about it too, as long as it didn't touch him.

Since we came home from the trip, Beckett has watched this video over and over again. I think he still is pretty excited about it. He actually caught two fish that morning. I guess he realized there are no such things as Monster Fish. :)

Belle and I went on a boat trip with half of the group later that day, and when we got back, this is what we saw:

He surprised me so many times on this trip. Belle did too, but I will get into that later. I am a chronological thinker.

The next day, all 20 of us piled into the speedboat and went to Rainbow Bridge. My dad's boat says it's max capacity is 18, but we figured that the three youngest people put together equaled one whole person, so we were good. Going into Rainbow Bridge it was smooth sailing. There was hardly anyone there and a park volunteer helped us dock our boat. As he saw all of the people in this one boat, he told us that we better be careful, we can get a citation for having more than the recommended amount of people in the boat. Freaked me out a little bit. We then proceeded to hike up to the Bridge.

If you have never had the opportunity to go to this amazing world wonder (no really, we have one of the 7 natural world wonders in our state, how cool is that?!), you really need to go. It is incredible. You can no longer hike up underneath it, because it is a sacred place for the Native Americans, but you can get close enough that you realize how freaking tall that thing is and that nature is incredible. There was another park volunteer at the bridge that told us about the history of the place and how it was discovered and the legend the Native Americans have of how it was made. They are neat stories, but I wont bore you by posting them on here. You can just go there and find out for yourself (incentive).

When all piled back into the boat, there were more people that had shown up to see the Bridge. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but we forgot about this one spot in the canyon that Rainbow Bridge is located in that is super narrow and can only fit one boat at a time. The problem with us being so full is that if there were big waves (which are really big if there are tour boats going through that spot, which isn't a rare occurrence.  Those things are massive, I've seen speedboats catch air off those waves), there was a real possibility of water coming up over the front of the boat, which would be so very bad. We were all holding our breath as we went through, much like in 7 Brides for 7 Brothers when they are going through the pass during the winter and don't want to start an avalanche. Obviously we made it through, but I have to put some kind of thrill factor into my story.

After Rainbow Bridge, you have to go get ice cream at Dangling Rope and make the fish smoke (aka - feed the fish ice cream and it comes out there gills and it looks like they are smoking). Beckett thought that was just the best thing ever. First, the carps there are huge, so that was pretty exciting for him. Second, he thought it was hilarious to watch the fish fight over the food and to listen to the sucking sounds they make in the process. Anabelle loved it too. In fact, I think there was one point where I was afraid she was going to fall in, she was so engrossed in watching those fish eat. Kids make everything seem new and exciting.

Afterwards, we stopped in a canyon half way to the houseboat and went swimming. We had a blast. Beckett didn't last long in the water, but he did get in (a success in my book). There was a small sand dune, and that is where he spent most of the time during the pool party.

Belle did a little of both. In the sand, in the water, you know, typical kid stuff. She had so much fun with her cousins. All of my nieces and nephews are older than my kids, most of them by at least 5 years, so Anabelle just loved having them play with her and getting to act like one of the older girls.

After the swimming party, everyone was all tuckered out.

You will notice that Beckett is riding in the front. I was absolutely floored that he rode up there. I had to force him onto the boat. I tried to trick him into getting on, but he saw right through it, so I had to just drag him on (that was one of the more difficult moments of the trip, I wanted to give up and just stay on the houseboat, but luckily everyone was super supportive and we made it onto the boat). He was crying and really hated the loud sound of the boat. I had to hold his head against me the whole 2 1/2 hour drive to Rainbow Bridge. For him to ride up front, that he decided on his own, was amazing and I just couldn't believe it. I was, and still am, so proud of him.

The next day was a chill day, full of games and water fun, especially for Anabelle, the Thrill Seeker.

Can you believe that?! Those are two different times that she got on that. Granted the boat went slower than molasses, but she did it. She is braver than her mom. I wouldn't even do it. I am blown away by this girl and how adventurous she is. I am so proud of my little Thrill Junkie.

The next day was Escalante day, my personal favorite. Escalante Canyon is the most beautiful of all the canyons in my opinion. Case in point:

My brother and his wife offered to stay on the houseboat and watch Beckett for me. So Belle and I went and had a great time in one of my most favorite places on earth. We saw Cathedral in the Desert and La Gorce Arch (pictured above). We also did a little exploring trying to find some Native American ruins in the canyon and discovered some beautiful arms in the canyon we had never seen before. I wish we could have explored more. I do need to show you some silly pictures from our trip. Here is Belle's ensemble for our trip that day:

I love when kids do that. Too cute! And now I have to put one of me because it is only fair:

My head was hot and I did not want it to burn, and then it got out of control from there. This is one of the more normal pictures we took.

When we got back to the houseboat, my brother that had stayed with Beckett told me that Beckett was playing on the inner tubes tied on the back and fell in the water (life jacket on, no worries) and that my brother quickly got him out and told him that he floated because he had on his life jacket. Apparently that was all that needed to be said to him because Beckett just kept on playing on the tubes. In fact later that night he played with Anabelle and some cousins, and they all had a blast.

He wasn't even phased by that fall either. I panicked and made you all sea-sick for nothing. He got right back on the inner tube and kept on pushing his cousins off into the water. Belle had tons of fun playing on there too. She would jump from the houseboat to the tube and was so cute. I wanted to post a video of Belle being super cute on the inner tube, but it is a little long and this post is long enough as it is. Oh well. If you really want to see the rest of the videos, you are welcome to come over. Beckett will be more than happy to put them on. He loves to watch them. He even has them memorized.

One more thing about them playing on the inner tube. I am so sad I didn't catch it on the camera. Beckett had pushed Jessica (the older cousin in the video) and she was going to climb back on the tube, but first she said to Beckett teasingly, "Now you aren't going to push me off, are you?" Beckett said, "No." So she climbs on and he says, "SURPRISE!" and then pushes her in. I still laugh hard every time I think about it. Who knew Beckett could be so witty.

One of my other most favorite thing about Lake Powell is the stars. They are incredible. You can see the Milky Way and at least one shooting star. I loved to just lay on the top deck and watch them until I would fall asleep. It didn't happen much on this trip. I kind of had to go to bed when the kids did. Lame. But I did attempt to take a photo to show you blog followers.

Beautiful aren't they? You can see all of the stars.

Early the next morning, Belle decided to throw up. As most of you know, Matt and I have a deal, I change poopy diapers, and he takes care of throw up. He does not like poop but isn't bothered by throw up, I gag at the sound and smells of someone puking but have no problem with stinky diapers. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, I had to deal with this all by myself. It was not fun. Also, it was my last chance to go fishing. I had bought a fishing license (not cheap) and had not caught a single fish. The mornings that we had gone, there were boils all around, but I got nada. (Boils are when striped bass "corral" small fish at the surface of the water and then just start attacking them, with the fish jumping out of the water giving the appearance of boiling water) Most of the other guys had caught at least one. I really wanted to get one that morning. I couldn't leave Belle alone, and I didn't feel right about waking someone else up to take care of my sick child. She was acting better, so I took her with. She did fine. She only threw up once or twice while we were out, which is actually pretty good considering we were on a boat, stopping, going, turning lots, chasing those boils. Typing this out makes me feel guilty. Oh well. I think she had a good time. I don't think she was sick sick, I think something was just upsetting her tummy, so it was fine. And I did catch a fish. Only one, but mission accomplished. So it was all worth it. Right?

After we got back and had breakfast, we packed up to go home. Then we all loaded up in the speedboat and headed back to Bullfrog Marina. 

I told you we loaded up the boat. There was no leg room. We were all crammed in there with all of our bags and stuff. Tons of fun! No really. It really was one of the better trips to Lake Powell I've had. I wish Matt could have come, but maybe next time. 

Confession

I have debated putting this on here, but here we go: Beckett has Asperger's, a high functioning form of Autism. We found out this spring/summer. His preschool teachers told us that they had noticed some things that he did at school that were characteristic of Asperger's, but they didn't know for sure. They suggested we have the school district's Early Intervention program test him. It took 3 different testing sessions. The first one was just standard testing to make sure he was on track for where he should be developmentally, and if there were any red flags, we would proceed from there. He was average for his age, but there were some Autism flags that showed up. They were things that I had just thought were unique, Beckett characteristics (him running place for a second or two before taking off), not symptoms of something else. When I got home from that first day of testing, I just bawled on my mom's shoulder. It was a hard pill to swallow. After I got my breath back, we sat down and talked it out some. I started to realize what a blessing it is to now know why he wont eat many foods, why he throws fits about stuff that make no sense, why he has a complete meltdown in loud, public places. Things that made no sense before now had a reason. It was, and still is, hard to think of my baby as having a problem, but at least now I can find ways to help him cope with it, and the rest of us as well.
The second day of testing was a month later and was mostly just me answering like 300 questions. I don't think I am exaggerating much (Beckett's principal gave me a fist bump when he heard I did that test to tell me that I was a trouper for doing it). They asked me stuff that I had no idea about, like does he use the word "between". I don't know. How am I supposed to know that? Who pays attention to that kind of stuff to begin with? Maybe better parents than me, which probably isn't hard to be. I also had to give his preschool teachers their own bazillion questions to fill out and return to the psychologist.
After all of those questions, they totaled all of the answers up and decided that he needed further examining, so they called me back to do a 3rd round of testing that involved the psychologist playing with him directly, while another psychologist watched and observed. I was in the room watching as well. I noticed things I had never noticed before. When the psychologist would ask Beckett questions directly about him, (i.e. What's your favorite toy?) he would completely ignore her, as if she hadn't said a thing. He just kept playing. When she asked questions that involved other people, (i.e. What do you like to do with your family?) he would respond most of the time. When asked to explain how to do things, like wash your face, he again acted like she didn't say anything. All of this reminded me of when Anabelle was born. He acted like she wasn't there. Not like how other kids that resent their new siblings do, but as if she really didn't exist. If I were nursing her, he would sit on my lap as if there was nothing there. He wouldn't sit on her or stuff like that, he just didn't see her as there.  It's hard to explain. This realization was actually relieving to me. I had been feeling like maybe he wasn't born with it and that maybe I had failed him as a mother. I haven't been one to push learning. I didn't sit down and have school time each day, or take him on field trips, or any of the other stuff that other moms seem to do to help their kids develop properly. I started going to story time when Beckett was over 3 1/2, and only because I had become a hermit due to my depression and I had to force myself to leave my house at least once a week. I never did craft projects with my kids, only once in a great while. I have never had a set schedule. Every day is a "get dressed when you want" kind of day. I was afraid that all these things that I didn't do, that every other mom seemed to know how to do, was the cause of his Autism. But realizing that he had it all along, helped me realize that maybe I wasn't such a screw-up after all. Yes, I could have done all of those things, but it wouldn't have changed that he has Asperger's.
About a month after all of the testing, we met with the psychologist again and someone from the district to talk about where he fit on the Autism spectrum. He is actually high functioning for Asperger's, which is already high functioning for Autism. So that means that really no one would know that he has Asperger's, unless they knew what to look for. He could lead a pretty normal life, especially with training on how to manage the symptoms of Autism that he does have. That was a great relief to us to know that he can live a fulfilling life and wouldn't need to be dependent on us because of his Autism. They also said he will probably be an engineer of some kind and that he will make more money than anyone in that room. I was pretty excited to know that we could be dependent on him to pay for our retirement. :)
*I want to add a note here that we have decided not to tell other children, like cousins and friends, about his Asperger's, because they don't need to know, unless something serious happens and it needs to be explained. He isn't that different and knowing might cause them to treat him differently. So to any family members and friends that read this (all 3 of you), please don't say anything to your children about his Asperger's. We would greatly appreciate it.*
I guess I am telling everyone about this more as a form of therapy, getting it out there and out of me. For the most part, it really hasn't been too hard to handle, but there definitely are days that are difficult. I also wanted to say something on here because in some of the updates I have been putting off, I can say more things that I want to say about them, specifically our Lake Powell trip and Beckett's school experiences. You wouldn't quite understand why it is such a big deal that he rode in the speedboat without a complete meltdown, if you didn't know that loud noises really upset him. He did melt, but not completely. I want to be able to share the times that he makes big advances and have others to share in my joys. I might whine a little on here too. I'll try not to do it much though, because no one wants to read my depressing ramblings for very long. I can guarantee that.
One last thing I want to say is that since finding out and then sharing this with others, I have felt an overwhelming feeling of love and support from lots of different people. People have given me advice or talked to someone they know that works with Autistic children and gotten advice or their phone numbers for me. They have let me just talk about it as I am still processing everything about it. I haven't felt like anybody is treating me or Beckett differently because he is Autistic. In some of the reading I have found, a support group is essential for parents of Autistic children, and I am so lucky to have already started to find so many willing to stand up and help us out. We have been truly blessed to have you all in our lives.