Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Check out this article
I read this article, Wake-up Call for Wives, and I loved it. It is a really good read for helping you be a better wife and companion. There is one for the husbands too. The article quotes comments the authors received from their Wake-Up Call for Husbands, and some of them are so sad. I can't believe women can act that way toward their eternal companion. I know I am totally not a perfect wife, but man, there are some mean women out there. I liked how the article pointed out that yes, we are Daughters of God, but our husbands are Sons of God and deserve respect and kindness too. I know the church emphasizes husbands treating their wives better, but you really don't hear much about how catty and naggy women can get. Anyways, I encourage you to read both of these articles. They are very thought provoking and will totally give you ideas on areas to improve, in a good way, not a you-are-a-horrible-person-and-you-never-do-anything-right way.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Confession
I have debated putting this on here, but here we go: Beckett has Asperger's, a high functioning form of Autism. We found out this spring/summer. His preschool teachers told us that they had noticed some things that he did at school that were characteristic of Asperger's, but they didn't know for sure. They suggested we have the school district's Early Intervention program test him. It took 3 different testing sessions. The first one was just standard testing to make sure he was on track for where he should be developmentally, and if there were any red flags, we would proceed from there. He was average for his age, but there were some Autism flags that showed up. They were things that I had just thought were unique, Beckett characteristics (him running place for a second or two before taking off), not symptoms of something else. When I got home from that first day of testing, I just bawled on my mom's shoulder. It was a hard pill to swallow. After I got my breath back, we sat down and talked it out some. I started to realize what a blessing it is to now know why he wont eat many foods, why he throws fits about stuff that make no sense, why he has a complete meltdown in loud, public places. Things that made no sense before now had a reason. It was, and still is, hard to think of my baby as having a problem, but at least now I can find ways to help him cope with it, and the rest of us as well.
The second day of testing was a month later and was mostly just me answering like 300 questions. I don't think I am exaggerating much (Beckett's principal gave me a fist bump when he heard I did that test to tell me that I was a trouper for doing it). They asked me stuff that I had no idea about, like does he use the word "between". I don't know. How am I supposed to know that? Who pays attention to that kind of stuff to begin with? Maybe better parents than me, which probably isn't hard to be. I also had to give his preschool teachers their own bazillion questions to fill out and return to the psychologist.
After all of those questions, they totaled all of the answers up and decided that he needed further examining, so they called me back to do a 3rd round of testing that involved the psychologist playing with him directly, while another psychologist watched and observed. I was in the room watching as well. I noticed things I had never noticed before. When the psychologist would ask Beckett questions directly about him, (i.e. What's your favorite toy?) he would completely ignore her, as if she hadn't said a thing. He just kept playing. When she asked questions that involved other people, (i.e. What do you like to do with your family?) he would respond most of the time. When asked to explain how to do things, like wash your face, he again acted like she didn't say anything. All of this reminded me of when Anabelle was born. He acted like she wasn't there. Not like how other kids that resent their new siblings do, but as if she really didn't exist. If I were nursing her, he would sit on my lap as if there was nothing there. He wouldn't sit on her or stuff like that, he just didn't see her as there. It's hard to explain. This realization was actually relieving to me. I had been feeling like maybe he wasn't born with it and that maybe I had failed him as a mother. I haven't been one to push learning. I didn't sit down and have school time each day, or take him on field trips, or any of the other stuff that other moms seem to do to help their kids develop properly. I started going to story time when Beckett was over 3 1/2, and only because I had become a hermit due to my depression and I had to force myself to leave my house at least once a week. I never did craft projects with my kids, only once in a great while. I have never had a set schedule. Every day is a "get dressed when you want" kind of day. I was afraid that all these things that I didn't do, that every other mom seemed to know how to do, was the cause of his Autism. But realizing that he had it all along, helped me realize that maybe I wasn't such a screw-up after all. Yes, I could have done all of those things, but it wouldn't have changed that he has Asperger's.
About a month after all of the testing, we met with the psychologist again and someone from the district to talk about where he fit on the Autism spectrum. He is actually high functioning for Asperger's, which is already high functioning for Autism. So that means that really no one would know that he has Asperger's, unless they knew what to look for. He could lead a pretty normal life, especially with training on how to manage the symptoms of Autism that he does have. That was a great relief to us to know that he can live a fulfilling life and wouldn't need to be dependent on us because of his Autism. They also said he will probably be an engineer of some kind and that he will make more money than anyone in that room. I was pretty excited to know that we could be dependent on him to pay for our retirement. :)
*I want to add a note here that we have decided not to tell other children, like cousins and friends, about his Asperger's, because they don't need to know, unless something serious happens and it needs to be explained. He isn't that different and knowing might cause them to treat him differently. So to any family members and friends that read this (all 3 of you), please don't say anything to your children about his Asperger's. We would greatly appreciate it.*
I guess I am telling everyone about this more as a form of therapy, getting it out there and out of me. For the most part, it really hasn't been too hard to handle, but there definitely are days that are difficult. I also wanted to say something on here because in some of the updates I have been putting off, I can say more things that I want to say about them, specifically our Lake Powell trip and Beckett's school experiences. You wouldn't quite understand why it is such a big deal that he rode in the speedboat without a complete meltdown, if you didn't know that loud noises really upset him. He did melt, but not completely. I want to be able to share the times that he makes big advances and have others to share in my joys. I might whine a little on here too. I'll try not to do it much though, because no one wants to read my depressing ramblings for very long. I can guarantee that.
One last thing I want to say is that since finding out and then sharing this with others, I have felt an overwhelming feeling of love and support from lots of different people. People have given me advice or talked to someone they know that works with Autistic children and gotten advice or their phone numbers for me. They have let me just talk about it as I am still processing everything about it. I haven't felt like anybody is treating me or Beckett differently because he is Autistic. In some of the reading I have found, a support group is essential for parents of Autistic children, and I am so lucky to have already started to find so many willing to stand up and help us out. We have been truly blessed to have you all in our lives.
The second day of testing was a month later and was mostly just me answering like 300 questions. I don't think I am exaggerating much (Beckett's principal gave me a fist bump when he heard I did that test to tell me that I was a trouper for doing it). They asked me stuff that I had no idea about, like does he use the word "between". I don't know. How am I supposed to know that? Who pays attention to that kind of stuff to begin with? Maybe better parents than me, which probably isn't hard to be. I also had to give his preschool teachers their own bazillion questions to fill out and return to the psychologist.
After all of those questions, they totaled all of the answers up and decided that he needed further examining, so they called me back to do a 3rd round of testing that involved the psychologist playing with him directly, while another psychologist watched and observed. I was in the room watching as well. I noticed things I had never noticed before. When the psychologist would ask Beckett questions directly about him, (i.e. What's your favorite toy?) he would completely ignore her, as if she hadn't said a thing. He just kept playing. When she asked questions that involved other people, (i.e. What do you like to do with your family?) he would respond most of the time. When asked to explain how to do things, like wash your face, he again acted like she didn't say anything. All of this reminded me of when Anabelle was born. He acted like she wasn't there. Not like how other kids that resent their new siblings do, but as if she really didn't exist. If I were nursing her, he would sit on my lap as if there was nothing there. He wouldn't sit on her or stuff like that, he just didn't see her as there. It's hard to explain. This realization was actually relieving to me. I had been feeling like maybe he wasn't born with it and that maybe I had failed him as a mother. I haven't been one to push learning. I didn't sit down and have school time each day, or take him on field trips, or any of the other stuff that other moms seem to do to help their kids develop properly. I started going to story time when Beckett was over 3 1/2, and only because I had become a hermit due to my depression and I had to force myself to leave my house at least once a week. I never did craft projects with my kids, only once in a great while. I have never had a set schedule. Every day is a "get dressed when you want" kind of day. I was afraid that all these things that I didn't do, that every other mom seemed to know how to do, was the cause of his Autism. But realizing that he had it all along, helped me realize that maybe I wasn't such a screw-up after all. Yes, I could have done all of those things, but it wouldn't have changed that he has Asperger's.
About a month after all of the testing, we met with the psychologist again and someone from the district to talk about where he fit on the Autism spectrum. He is actually high functioning for Asperger's, which is already high functioning for Autism. So that means that really no one would know that he has Asperger's, unless they knew what to look for. He could lead a pretty normal life, especially with training on how to manage the symptoms of Autism that he does have. That was a great relief to us to know that he can live a fulfilling life and wouldn't need to be dependent on us because of his Autism. They also said he will probably be an engineer of some kind and that he will make more money than anyone in that room. I was pretty excited to know that we could be dependent on him to pay for our retirement. :)
*I want to add a note here that we have decided not to tell other children, like cousins and friends, about his Asperger's, because they don't need to know, unless something serious happens and it needs to be explained. He isn't that different and knowing might cause them to treat him differently. So to any family members and friends that read this (all 3 of you), please don't say anything to your children about his Asperger's. We would greatly appreciate it.*
I guess I am telling everyone about this more as a form of therapy, getting it out there and out of me. For the most part, it really hasn't been too hard to handle, but there definitely are days that are difficult. I also wanted to say something on here because in some of the updates I have been putting off, I can say more things that I want to say about them, specifically our Lake Powell trip and Beckett's school experiences. You wouldn't quite understand why it is such a big deal that he rode in the speedboat without a complete meltdown, if you didn't know that loud noises really upset him. He did melt, but not completely. I want to be able to share the times that he makes big advances and have others to share in my joys. I might whine a little on here too. I'll try not to do it much though, because no one wants to read my depressing ramblings for very long. I can guarantee that.
One last thing I want to say is that since finding out and then sharing this with others, I have felt an overwhelming feeling of love and support from lots of different people. People have given me advice or talked to someone they know that works with Autistic children and gotten advice or their phone numbers for me. They have let me just talk about it as I am still processing everything about it. I haven't felt like anybody is treating me or Beckett differently because he is Autistic. In some of the reading I have found, a support group is essential for parents of Autistic children, and I am so lucky to have already started to find so many willing to stand up and help us out. We have been truly blessed to have you all in our lives.
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Givaway!!
Livia is hosting another givaway on her blog. It is a free download of My Memories Digital Scrapbooking Suite. She got to try it out for free, lucky girl. Head on over to her blog and find out how her scrapbooking turned out. She said it is saved as a jpeg file, so it is easy to transfer to blogs and emails. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. Entering is super easy - just go to the My Memories and look at the dollar store and then comment on Liv's blog about which one is your favorite.Go check it out.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Move over, Jane Fonda!
She's got moves...and she knows how to use them.
I still giggle every time I see the end of this video. He cracks me up. In case you couldn't tell what Anabelle was asking me when she patted the ground next to her, she wanted me to come and do exercises with her. That girl loves to exercise. I just might be able to loose all this excess weight if I would follow her regiment.
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Chips
Today, we were at my parent's house. Beckett wanted a snack and so he got out some potato chips. My dad helped him put them onto a plate and then gave it to him. Beckett said, "Thanks for the Tomato chips."
I love that kid!
I love that kid!
Friday, August 19, 2011
June
Now on to June. It was pretty quiet for the most part. The kids must have really liked the zoo in Omaha, because when we got back, they busted out the animal dress-ups, which I can't believe still fit Beckett.
We also made some animal costumes out of brown paper bags. Here is an elephant.
That tail doubled as his trunk. I have a picture of him walking as an elephant, but it is far too blurry. I don't remember what animal Belle made all by herself with her paper bag.
I'm thinking a squid or octopus? You decide.
About half way through the month, a friend in our ward asked if I could watch her daughter one morning. the little girls name is Paige, and she is the same age as Anabelle and are good friends in nursery. Paige had to go potty while she was at our house. So, I went to help her and Belle followed. She saw Paige pee on the toilet and immediately went and put on underwear and hasn't worn a diaper since, except for a couple weeks at night she wore pull-ups, but were done away with because she said she didn't need them. So far she has been right. We offered to buy Paige a pony, but her parents said that that wasn't necessary. I beg to differ. I haven't had to change any diapers in 2 months! That is easily worth a pony to me. Do you know how nice it has been to not lug a diaper bag everywhere I go? I just grab my purse with extra undies and clothes and we are set. I realize that will all change when we have another kid (someday in the future, not announcing anything), but for right now, I am enjoying the freedom. Here is a cute picture of the kids in there undies eating a popcicle under the table:
Father's day was nice. I attempted my first homemade cinnamon rolls for Matt. It was his mom's recipe and one of his favorites. I was so proud of my dough rising I had to snap a picture of it.
I should have snapped a picture of the finished product, but we had to hurry to a family dinner and I was taking those with us. They looked gorgeous, but I don't think I put enough cinnamon and sugar inside. They weren't gooey enough in the middle. I have attempted it a second time, but that one didn't turn out as well. I guess I am just going to have to keep making cinnamon rolls until I get it right. Anyone want to be my taste testers?
Beckett turned 5 in June. Most years, his birthday has been pretty quiet. Mostly just our little family, and maybe a few other family members are there for cake and ice cream. But this year we decided to have a real party. A few days before, we called and invited friends and family to the celebration. It was really fun. More than we have ever done, that is for sure, but a lot of fun.
We started the day off with trying to catch a train. Beckett's preschool, Preschool Express, is train themed, so every year they have a little train that is in the South Ogden parade and they invite their students to ride on it. We thought Beckett would love it. So we worked hard to get out of the house as quickly as we could to get on the train at 9 (we don't get up at our house until 8 usually). We made it, but the train broke down and there would be no train the parade this year. We were bummed. Beckett was bummed, until Matt said he would take him to the train museum to make up for it. Then all he wanted to do was get out of there. Unfortunately, we had to wait for the parade to pass by. That was a long wait for a boy that wanted to go see some trains. He didn't even want to go get some of the salt water taffy they were throwing at the crowd. Luckily, South Ogden doesn't have a lot in their parade, so we were able to get out of there quickly. Matt dropped me off at our house so I could decorate Beckett's cake, while he took the kids to the train museum. They had a great time. They also rode on the front runner, to Clearfield and back, but hey, that was a train ride.
When they got back, the cake was done and we left to meet up with people at the Hill Air Force Museum. It was free and something that would be fun for all the kids, plus we had never been there. It was so cool! The kids loved it.
All the kids that came:
After that picture, Van leaned over and put his arm around Ally, who he had just met not more than 5 min. earlier. Van's got the moves. He is quite the player.
The kids had a great time, but I think the dads had a better time. They were more like kids than the kids were. It was funny. I think every boy has a dream to be a pilot at some point in their life.
They had on display this huge helicopter:
It was massive. The picture definitely doesn't do it justice. I think they are used to transport Navy Seals. So cool.
Here some more cute pics of our time at the museum:
After that, the party moved to our house. More people joined us there. We had cake and ice cream and opened presents, your standard gig. Beckett had a ball. He loved being the center of attention. He had started to unwrap one of his presents, a train, before we left for the Plane Museum, and then was very upset that we took it away. When we got home, he wanted to finish opening that present. He had a very difficult time waiting for all of the guests to arrive so he could finish what he had started.
He was so excited once he got it all opened. He has wanted James for a long time. He also got some more tracks and freight cars to go with his new train, lots of bubbles, books, a big bouncy ball, a big stuffed thomas, otter pops, and some little animals that came with a tent and fake fire for roasting marshmallows. There might be more than that, but I honestly can't remember.
After that, it was cake time. I have to say, I am very proud of how this cake turned out. That is two for two this year. (Any ideas for Matt's?)
I can't take credit for coming up with all of these ideas on my own. Ana suggested using a jelly roll for Thomas's tank. That suggestion made the whole cake. Someone else suggested using an ice cream cone for his funnel. Another freezing the cake so it is easier to decorate. I came up with the idea to use disposable bread pans for the cars and the cab on Thomas.
I could tell Beckett wanted this cake to be pretty accurate, so I really tried to make it as close to Thomas and his coaches as I could. I even put faces on Annie and Clarabell, Thomas's coaches. I also had left over cake from making the cab, so I decided to make a coal car. Unfortunately they didn't all fit lined up on the board, so I had to make it look like a car off to the side. Beckett loved it and noticed every little detail I put into it.
It was an awesome birthday and we were so glad to finally share it with friends and family. Thank you to everyone that came, last minute invite and all.
It is crazy to think that 5 whole years have gone by since he was born. I have been thinking about his birth lately and some things about him as he has been growing up. He is such a sweet, tender-hearted boy. He loves to cuddle and snuggle with just about anyone he feels comfortable with. He loves to laugh and make you laugh. He loves to have his back scratched. He loves to feel other people's silky clothes, but wont wear any himself. He loves to be in just his underwear, even in the winter. He loves me with all his heart. No matter how bad of a mom I can be, he still loves me and will give me the biggest hugs and tons of kisses. He is bright and can read about 10 or more words already. He is starting Kindergarten this year and I am so nervous. I hope he does well and has a great time. I know it is only Kindergarten, but it is the beginning of sending him out into the world on his own. It is the start of his journey in life to be more independent. It is a letting go, and I think I will have just as hard of a time leaving him in that classroom on the first day as he will letting me leave him. Don't get me wrong. I am already planning what I am going to do with only one child in the house with me for half the day, but it will be hard to let someone else have responsibility for him and watch out for him and make sure he is okay. I love that little guy and don't want him to grow up for a little bit longer. I have never really thought time went fast with my kids, but now that I am here at this point, I realize that he isn't going to be my little snuggle bug for much longer. He will one day stop climbing into bed with me in the mornings and snuggling for a little while before we get up and start the day, and my heart hurts a little just thinking of it. I love that little guy and he has been such a joy in our family and we would not be the same without him.
We also made some animal costumes out of brown paper bags. Here is an elephant.
That tail doubled as his trunk. I have a picture of him walking as an elephant, but it is far too blurry. I don't remember what animal Belle made all by herself with her paper bag.
I'm thinking a squid or octopus? You decide.
About half way through the month, a friend in our ward asked if I could watch her daughter one morning. the little girls name is Paige, and she is the same age as Anabelle and are good friends in nursery. Paige had to go potty while she was at our house. So, I went to help her and Belle followed. She saw Paige pee on the toilet and immediately went and put on underwear and hasn't worn a diaper since, except for a couple weeks at night she wore pull-ups, but were done away with because she said she didn't need them. So far she has been right. We offered to buy Paige a pony, but her parents said that that wasn't necessary. I beg to differ. I haven't had to change any diapers in 2 months! That is easily worth a pony to me. Do you know how nice it has been to not lug a diaper bag everywhere I go? I just grab my purse with extra undies and clothes and we are set. I realize that will all change when we have another kid (someday in the future, not announcing anything), but for right now, I am enjoying the freedom. Here is a cute picture of the kids in there undies eating a popcicle under the table:
Father's day was nice. I attempted my first homemade cinnamon rolls for Matt. It was his mom's recipe and one of his favorites. I was so proud of my dough rising I had to snap a picture of it.
I should have snapped a picture of the finished product, but we had to hurry to a family dinner and I was taking those with us. They looked gorgeous, but I don't think I put enough cinnamon and sugar inside. They weren't gooey enough in the middle. I have attempted it a second time, but that one didn't turn out as well. I guess I am just going to have to keep making cinnamon rolls until I get it right. Anyone want to be my taste testers?
Beckett turned 5 in June. Most years, his birthday has been pretty quiet. Mostly just our little family, and maybe a few other family members are there for cake and ice cream. But this year we decided to have a real party. A few days before, we called and invited friends and family to the celebration. It was really fun. More than we have ever done, that is for sure, but a lot of fun.
We started the day off with trying to catch a train. Beckett's preschool, Preschool Express, is train themed, so every year they have a little train that is in the South Ogden parade and they invite their students to ride on it. We thought Beckett would love it. So we worked hard to get out of the house as quickly as we could to get on the train at 9 (we don't get up at our house until 8 usually). We made it, but the train broke down and there would be no train the parade this year. We were bummed. Beckett was bummed, until Matt said he would take him to the train museum to make up for it. Then all he wanted to do was get out of there. Unfortunately, we had to wait for the parade to pass by. That was a long wait for a boy that wanted to go see some trains. He didn't even want to go get some of the salt water taffy they were throwing at the crowd. Luckily, South Ogden doesn't have a lot in their parade, so we were able to get out of there quickly. Matt dropped me off at our house so I could decorate Beckett's cake, while he took the kids to the train museum. They had a great time. They also rode on the front runner, to Clearfield and back, but hey, that was a train ride.
When they got back, the cake was done and we left to meet up with people at the Hill Air Force Museum. It was free and something that would be fun for all the kids, plus we had never been there. It was so cool! The kids loved it.
All the kids that came:
After that picture, Van leaned over and put his arm around Ally, who he had just met not more than 5 min. earlier. Van's got the moves. He is quite the player.
The kids had a great time, but I think the dads had a better time. They were more like kids than the kids were. It was funny. I think every boy has a dream to be a pilot at some point in their life.
They had on display this huge helicopter:
It was massive. The picture definitely doesn't do it justice. I think they are used to transport Navy Seals. So cool.
Here some more cute pics of our time at the museum:
 |
| I love Beckett's face in this picture and that there is a little hand reaching for that nob. |
After that, the party moved to our house. More people joined us there. We had cake and ice cream and opened presents, your standard gig. Beckett had a ball. He loved being the center of attention. He had started to unwrap one of his presents, a train, before we left for the Plane Museum, and then was very upset that we took it away. When we got home, he wanted to finish opening that present. He had a very difficult time waiting for all of the guests to arrive so he could finish what he had started.
He was so excited once he got it all opened. He has wanted James for a long time. He also got some more tracks and freight cars to go with his new train, lots of bubbles, books, a big bouncy ball, a big stuffed thomas, otter pops, and some little animals that came with a tent and fake fire for roasting marshmallows. There might be more than that, but I honestly can't remember.
After that, it was cake time. I have to say, I am very proud of how this cake turned out. That is two for two this year. (Any ideas for Matt's?)
I can't take credit for coming up with all of these ideas on my own. Ana suggested using a jelly roll for Thomas's tank. That suggestion made the whole cake. Someone else suggested using an ice cream cone for his funnel. Another freezing the cake so it is easier to decorate. I came up with the idea to use disposable bread pans for the cars and the cab on Thomas.
I could tell Beckett wanted this cake to be pretty accurate, so I really tried to make it as close to Thomas and his coaches as I could. I even put faces on Annie and Clarabell, Thomas's coaches. I also had left over cake from making the cab, so I decided to make a coal car. Unfortunately they didn't all fit lined up on the board, so I had to make it look like a car off to the side. Beckett loved it and noticed every little detail I put into it.
It was an awesome birthday and we were so glad to finally share it with friends and family. Thank you to everyone that came, last minute invite and all.
It is crazy to think that 5 whole years have gone by since he was born. I have been thinking about his birth lately and some things about him as he has been growing up. He is such a sweet, tender-hearted boy. He loves to cuddle and snuggle with just about anyone he feels comfortable with. He loves to laugh and make you laugh. He loves to have his back scratched. He loves to feel other people's silky clothes, but wont wear any himself. He loves to be in just his underwear, even in the winter. He loves me with all his heart. No matter how bad of a mom I can be, he still loves me and will give me the biggest hugs and tons of kisses. He is bright and can read about 10 or more words already. He is starting Kindergarten this year and I am so nervous. I hope he does well and has a great time. I know it is only Kindergarten, but it is the beginning of sending him out into the world on his own. It is the start of his journey in life to be more independent. It is a letting go, and I think I will have just as hard of a time leaving him in that classroom on the first day as he will letting me leave him. Don't get me wrong. I am already planning what I am going to do with only one child in the house with me for half the day, but it will be hard to let someone else have responsibility for him and watch out for him and make sure he is okay. I love that little guy and don't want him to grow up for a little bit longer. I have never really thought time went fast with my kids, but now that I am here at this point, I realize that he isn't going to be my little snuggle bug for much longer. He will one day stop climbing into bed with me in the mornings and snuggling for a little while before we get up and start the day, and my heart hurts a little just thinking of it. I love that little guy and he has been such a joy in our family and we would not be the same without him.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Another photo deal!!!
Snapfish is having another deal. You can get 100 photos for only $1.09, shipped. How good of a deal is that?! The code is WEDPRINT. Go jump on this deal! I don't know when it expires so it might be over today.
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