Pake Lowell

But most people like to refer to as Lake Powell. The kids and I went to Lake Powell with my family and had a great time. I was pretty scared to go all by myself on a trip without Matt to tag-team it with me, but I had so many people there to help out, especially young girls that live to play and take care of little kids. So actually, it was a wonderful trip and I had to do hardly anything, except handle the meltdowns that come with riding on a speedboat, not being allowed to eat candy for dinner or after brushing teeth before going to bed, and peeing in a toilet that isn't allowed to be flushed unless someone goes #2. That last one was a really hard concept for the kids to grasp, which is a good thing I guess. Also, sorry if that disgusts you, but that's how we roll on the ol' Humpherys' Houseboat.

We started the 5+ hour drive at about 8:30 in the morning. Beckett freaked out every time the boat, which was pulled by my brother's truck, would disappear from view or even get more than 20 ft from the car we were in. It was an unpleasant first couple of hours. We put a movie on in hopes of distracting him, which worked to keep him from crying about it, but my dad caught him in the rear view mirror the rest of the way checking on the boat every few minutes or so. At least we know that we will never lose anybody on a road trip with Beckett around.

Other than that, the trip down was rather painless. I guess that is one of the blessings of having older siblings with all of their kids older than mine. I had 2 babysitters in the car, plus my sister and her friend. It was very nice to sit in the front seat and let them handle everything.

Once we got there, we loaded the speedboat with as much luggage, food, and children as we could without sinking it, and headed to the houseboat. It took two trips, but once luggage and persons were all accounted for, we set off into open waters.

Anabelle loved every minute of being on the boat and being with the big kids. In fact, I hardly saw her all week. Even when we were both on the speedboat at the same time, I didn't see her much because she was always up front with the other kids having a great time bouncing on the waves. She is such a dare devil and teenage-wanna-be.

Beckett was nervous about riding on both boats. He was freaking out the whole mile long trip from Bullfrog Marina to the houseboat. Then he was a little uncertain about the houseboat moving. He had to have the doors shut so he couldn't hear the wind (another one of those Asperger things), and for a while, I had to sit with him and help him adjust to the new experience. After about 15 or 20 minutes, Beckett noticed this:

Look at my brave girl, front and center

 
He realized he was missing out on some fun, so he manned up, braved the wind, and ...

I was so proud of him! He rode up there the rest of the 2 hour drive to where we parked the boat.

The next day was a big day. Beckett caught his first fish ever. I don't know if anybody remembers the "Monster Fish" episode we had last year at the cabin, but I was afraid we were never going to get Beckett near another fishing pole even if it meant he wouldn't starve. But he did it. He was really excited about it too, as long as it didn't touch him.

Since we came home from the trip, Beckett has watched this video over and over again. I think he still is pretty excited about it. He actually caught two fish that morning. I guess he realized there are no such things as Monster Fish. :)

Belle and I went on a boat trip with half of the group later that day, and when we got back, this is what we saw:

He surprised me so many times on this trip. Belle did too, but I will get into that later. I am a chronological thinker.

The next day, all 20 of us piled into the speedboat and went to Rainbow Bridge. My dad's boat says it's max capacity is 18, but we figured that the three youngest people put together equaled one whole person, so we were good. Going into Rainbow Bridge it was smooth sailing. There was hardly anyone there and a park volunteer helped us dock our boat. As he saw all of the people in this one boat, he told us that we better be careful, we can get a citation for having more than the recommended amount of people in the boat. Freaked me out a little bit. We then proceeded to hike up to the Bridge.

If you have never had the opportunity to go to this amazing world wonder (no really, we have one of the 7 natural world wonders in our state, how cool is that?!), you really need to go. It is incredible. You can no longer hike up underneath it, because it is a sacred place for the Native Americans, but you can get close enough that you realize how freaking tall that thing is and that nature is incredible. There was another park volunteer at the bridge that told us about the history of the place and how it was discovered and the legend the Native Americans have of how it was made. They are neat stories, but I wont bore you by posting them on here. You can just go there and find out for yourself (incentive).

When all piled back into the boat, there were more people that had shown up to see the Bridge. Normally that wouldn't be a big deal, but we forgot about this one spot in the canyon that Rainbow Bridge is located in that is super narrow and can only fit one boat at a time. The problem with us being so full is that if there were big waves (which are really big if there are tour boats going through that spot, which isn't a rare occurrence.  Those things are massive, I've seen speedboats catch air off those waves), there was a real possibility of water coming up over the front of the boat, which would be so very bad. We were all holding our breath as we went through, much like in 7 Brides for 7 Brothers when they are going through the pass during the winter and don't want to start an avalanche. Obviously we made it through, but I have to put some kind of thrill factor into my story.

After Rainbow Bridge, you have to go get ice cream at Dangling Rope and make the fish smoke (aka - feed the fish ice cream and it comes out there gills and it looks like they are smoking). Beckett thought that was just the best thing ever. First, the carps there are huge, so that was pretty exciting for him. Second, he thought it was hilarious to watch the fish fight over the food and to listen to the sucking sounds they make in the process. Anabelle loved it too. In fact, I think there was one point where I was afraid she was going to fall in, she was so engrossed in watching those fish eat. Kids make everything seem new and exciting.

Afterwards, we stopped in a canyon half way to the houseboat and went swimming. We had a blast. Beckett didn't last long in the water, but he did get in (a success in my book). There was a small sand dune, and that is where he spent most of the time during the pool party.

Belle did a little of both. In the sand, in the water, you know, typical kid stuff. She had so much fun with her cousins. All of my nieces and nephews are older than my kids, most of them by at least 5 years, so Anabelle just loved having them play with her and getting to act like one of the older girls.

After the swimming party, everyone was all tuckered out.

You will notice that Beckett is riding in the front. I was absolutely floored that he rode up there. I had to force him onto the boat. I tried to trick him into getting on, but he saw right through it, so I had to just drag him on (that was one of the more difficult moments of the trip, I wanted to give up and just stay on the houseboat, but luckily everyone was super supportive and we made it onto the boat). He was crying and really hated the loud sound of the boat. I had to hold his head against me the whole 2 1/2 hour drive to Rainbow Bridge. For him to ride up front, that he decided on his own, was amazing and I just couldn't believe it. I was, and still am, so proud of him.

The next day was a chill day, full of games and water fun, especially for Anabelle, the Thrill Seeker.

Can you believe that?! Those are two different times that she got on that. Granted the boat went slower than molasses, but she did it. She is braver than her mom. I wouldn't even do it. I am blown away by this girl and how adventurous she is. I am so proud of my little Thrill Junkie.

The next day was Escalante day, my personal favorite. Escalante Canyon is the most beautiful of all the canyons in my opinion. Case in point:

My brother and his wife offered to stay on the houseboat and watch Beckett for me. So Belle and I went and had a great time in one of my most favorite places on earth. We saw Cathedral in the Desert and La Gorce Arch (pictured above). We also did a little exploring trying to find some Native American ruins in the canyon and discovered some beautiful arms in the canyon we had never seen before. I wish we could have explored more. I do need to show you some silly pictures from our trip. Here is Belle's ensemble for our trip that day:

I love when kids do that. Too cute! And now I have to put one of me because it is only fair:

My head was hot and I did not want it to burn, and then it got out of control from there. This is one of the more normal pictures we took.

When we got back to the houseboat, my brother that had stayed with Beckett told me that Beckett was playing on the inner tubes tied on the back and fell in the water (life jacket on, no worries) and that my brother quickly got him out and told him that he floated because he had on his life jacket. Apparently that was all that needed to be said to him because Beckett just kept on playing on the tubes. In fact later that night he played with Anabelle and some cousins, and they all had a blast.

He wasn't even phased by that fall either. I panicked and made you all sea-sick for nothing. He got right back on the inner tube and kept on pushing his cousins off into the water. Belle had tons of fun playing on there too. She would jump from the houseboat to the tube and was so cute. I wanted to post a video of Belle being super cute on the inner tube, but it is a little long and this post is long enough as it is. Oh well. If you really want to see the rest of the videos, you are welcome to come over. Beckett will be more than happy to put them on. He loves to watch them. He even has them memorized.

One more thing about them playing on the inner tube. I am so sad I didn't catch it on the camera. Beckett had pushed Jessica (the older cousin in the video) and she was going to climb back on the tube, but first she said to Beckett teasingly, "Now you aren't going to push me off, are you?" Beckett said, "No." So she climbs on and he says, "SURPRISE!" and then pushes her in. I still laugh hard every time I think about it. Who knew Beckett could be so witty.

One of my other most favorite thing about Lake Powell is the stars. They are incredible. You can see the Milky Way and at least one shooting star. I loved to just lay on the top deck and watch them until I would fall asleep. It didn't happen much on this trip. I kind of had to go to bed when the kids did. Lame. But I did attempt to take a photo to show you blog followers.

Beautiful aren't they? You can see all of the stars.

Early the next morning, Belle decided to throw up. As most of you know, Matt and I have a deal, I change poopy diapers, and he takes care of throw up. He does not like poop but isn't bothered by throw up, I gag at the sound and smells of someone puking but have no problem with stinky diapers. Everybody wins. Unfortunately, I had to deal with this all by myself. It was not fun. Also, it was my last chance to go fishing. I had bought a fishing license (not cheap) and had not caught a single fish. The mornings that we had gone, there were boils all around, but I got nada. (Boils are when striped bass "corral" small fish at the surface of the water and then just start attacking them, with the fish jumping out of the water giving the appearance of boiling water) Most of the other guys had caught at least one. I really wanted to get one that morning. I couldn't leave Belle alone, and I didn't feel right about waking someone else up to take care of my sick child. She was acting better, so I took her with. She did fine. She only threw up once or twice while we were out, which is actually pretty good considering we were on a boat, stopping, going, turning lots, chasing those boils. Typing this out makes me feel guilty. Oh well. I think she had a good time. I don't think she was sick sick, I think something was just upsetting her tummy, so it was fine. And I did catch a fish. Only one, but mission accomplished. So it was all worth it. Right?

After we got back and had breakfast, we packed up to go home. Then we all loaded up in the speedboat and headed back to Bullfrog Marina. 

I told you we loaded up the boat. There was no leg room. We were all crammed in there with all of our bags and stuff. Tons of fun! No really. It really was one of the better trips to Lake Powell I've had. I wish Matt could have come, but maybe next time. 

Check out this article

I read this article, Wake-up Call for Wives, and I loved it. It is a really good read for helping you be a better wife and companion. There is one for the husbands too. The article quotes comments the authors received from their Wake-Up Call for Husbands, and some of them are so sad. I can't believe women can act that way toward their eternal companion. I know I am totally not a perfect wife, but man, there are some mean women out there. I liked how the article pointed out that yes, we are Daughters of God, but our husbands are Sons of God and deserve respect and kindness too. I know the church emphasizes husbands treating their wives better, but you really don't hear much about how catty and naggy women can get. Anyways, I encourage you to read both of these articles. They are very thought provoking and will totally give you ideas on areas to improve, in a good way, not a you-are-a-horrible-person-and-you-never-do-anything-right way.

Confession

I have debated putting this on here, but here we go: Beckett has Asperger's, a high functioning form of Autism. We found out this spring/summer. His preschool teachers told us that they had noticed some things that he did at school that were characteristic of Asperger's, but they didn't know for sure. They suggested we have the school district's Early Intervention program test him. It took 3 different testing sessions. The first one was just standard testing to make sure he was on track for where he should be developmentally, and if there were any red flags, we would proceed from there. He was average for his age, but there were some Autism flags that showed up. They were things that I had just thought were unique, Beckett characteristics (him running place for a second or two before taking off), not symptoms of something else. When I got home from that first day of testing, I just bawled on my mom's shoulder. It was a hard pill to swallow. After I got my breath back, we sat down and talked it out some. I started to realize what a blessing it is to now know why he wont eat many foods, why he throws fits about stuff that make no sense, why he has a complete meltdown in loud, public places. Things that made no sense before now had a reason. It was, and still is, hard to think of my baby as having a problem, but at least now I can find ways to help him cope with it, and the rest of us as well.
The second day of testing was a month later and was mostly just me answering like 300 questions. I don't think I am exaggerating much (Beckett's principal gave me a fist bump when he heard I did that test to tell me that I was a trouper for doing it). They asked me stuff that I had no idea about, like does he use the word "between". I don't know. How am I supposed to know that? Who pays attention to that kind of stuff to begin with? Maybe better parents than me, which probably isn't hard to be. I also had to give his preschool teachers their own bazillion questions to fill out and return to the psychologist.
After all of those questions, they totaled all of the answers up and decided that he needed further examining, so they called me back to do a 3rd round of testing that involved the psychologist playing with him directly, while another psychologist watched and observed. I was in the room watching as well. I noticed things I had never noticed before. When the psychologist would ask Beckett questions directly about him, (i.e. What's your favorite toy?) he would completely ignore her, as if she hadn't said a thing. He just kept playing. When she asked questions that involved other people, (i.e. What do you like to do with your family?) he would respond most of the time. When asked to explain how to do things, like wash your face, he again acted like she didn't say anything. All of this reminded me of when Anabelle was born. He acted like she wasn't there. Not like how other kids that resent their new siblings do, but as if she really didn't exist. If I were nursing her, he would sit on my lap as if there was nothing there. He wouldn't sit on her or stuff like that, he just didn't see her as there.  It's hard to explain. This realization was actually relieving to me. I had been feeling like maybe he wasn't born with it and that maybe I had failed him as a mother. I haven't been one to push learning. I didn't sit down and have school time each day, or take him on field trips, or any of the other stuff that other moms seem to do to help their kids develop properly. I started going to story time when Beckett was over 3 1/2, and only because I had become a hermit due to my depression and I had to force myself to leave my house at least once a week. I never did craft projects with my kids, only once in a great while. I have never had a set schedule. Every day is a "get dressed when you want" kind of day. I was afraid that all these things that I didn't do, that every other mom seemed to know how to do, was the cause of his Autism. But realizing that he had it all along, helped me realize that maybe I wasn't such a screw-up after all. Yes, I could have done all of those things, but it wouldn't have changed that he has Asperger's.
About a month after all of the testing, we met with the psychologist again and someone from the district to talk about where he fit on the Autism spectrum. He is actually high functioning for Asperger's, which is already high functioning for Autism. So that means that really no one would know that he has Asperger's, unless they knew what to look for. He could lead a pretty normal life, especially with training on how to manage the symptoms of Autism that he does have. That was a great relief to us to know that he can live a fulfilling life and wouldn't need to be dependent on us because of his Autism. They also said he will probably be an engineer of some kind and that he will make more money than anyone in that room. I was pretty excited to know that we could be dependent on him to pay for our retirement. :)
*I want to add a note here that we have decided not to tell other children, like cousins and friends, about his Asperger's, because they don't need to know, unless something serious happens and it needs to be explained. He isn't that different and knowing might cause them to treat him differently. So to any family members and friends that read this (all 3 of you), please don't say anything to your children about his Asperger's. We would greatly appreciate it.*
I guess I am telling everyone about this more as a form of therapy, getting it out there and out of me. For the most part, it really hasn't been too hard to handle, but there definitely are days that are difficult. I also wanted to say something on here because in some of the updates I have been putting off, I can say more things that I want to say about them, specifically our Lake Powell trip and Beckett's school experiences. You wouldn't quite understand why it is such a big deal that he rode in the speedboat without a complete meltdown, if you didn't know that loud noises really upset him. He did melt, but not completely. I want to be able to share the times that he makes big advances and have others to share in my joys. I might whine a little on here too. I'll try not to do it much though, because no one wants to read my depressing ramblings for very long. I can guarantee that.
One last thing I want to say is that since finding out and then sharing this with others, I have felt an overwhelming feeling of love and support from lots of different people. People have given me advice or talked to someone they know that works with Autistic children and gotten advice or their phone numbers for me. They have let me just talk about it as I am still processing everything about it. I haven't felt like anybody is treating me or Beckett differently because he is Autistic. In some of the reading I have found, a support group is essential for parents of Autistic children, and I am so lucky to have already started to find so many willing to stand up and help us out. We have been truly blessed to have you all in our lives.

Givaway!!

Livia is hosting another givaway on her blog. It is a free download of My Memories Digital Scrapbooking Suite. She got to try it out for free, lucky girl. Head on over to her blog and find out how her scrapbooking turned out. She said it is saved as a jpeg file, so it is easy to transfer to blogs and emails. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal to me. Entering is super easy - just go to the My Memories and look at the dollar store and then comment on Liv's blog about which one is your favorite.Go check it out.

Move over, Jane Fonda!

She's got moves...and she knows how to use them.

I still giggle every time I see the end of this video. He cracks me up. In case you couldn't tell what Anabelle was asking me when she patted the ground next to her, she wanted me to come and do exercises with her. That girl loves to exercise. I just might be able to loose all this excess weight if I would follow her regiment.

Chips

Today, we were at my parent's house. Beckett wanted a snack and so he got out some potato chips. My dad helped him put them onto a plate and then gave it to him. Beckett said, "Thanks for the Tomato chips."

I love that kid!

June

Now on to June. It was pretty quiet for the most part. The kids must have really liked the zoo in Omaha, because when we got back, they busted out the animal dress-ups, which I can't believe still fit Beckett.

 We also made some animal costumes out of brown paper bags. Here is an elephant.

That tail doubled as his trunk. I have a picture of him walking as an elephant, but it is far too blurry. I don't remember what animal Belle made all by herself with her paper bag.

I'm thinking a squid or octopus? You decide.

About half way through the month, a friend in our ward asked if I could watch her daughter one morning. the little girls name is Paige, and she is the same age as Anabelle and are good friends in nursery. Paige had to go potty while she was at our house. So, I went to help her and Belle followed. She saw Paige pee on the toilet and immediately went and put on underwear and hasn't worn a diaper since, except for a couple weeks at night she wore pull-ups, but were done away with because she said she didn't need them. So far she has been right. We offered to buy Paige a pony, but her parents said that that wasn't necessary. I beg to differ. I haven't had to change any diapers in 2 months! That is easily worth a pony to me. Do you know how nice it has been to not lug a diaper bag everywhere I go? I just grab my purse with extra undies and clothes and we are set. I realize that will all change when we have another kid (someday in the future, not announcing anything), but for right now, I am enjoying the freedom. Here is a cute picture of the kids in there undies eating a popcicle under the table:

Father's day was nice. I attempted my first homemade cinnamon rolls for Matt. It was his mom's recipe and one of his favorites. I was so proud of my dough rising I had to snap a picture of it.

I should have snapped a picture of the finished product, but we had to hurry to a family dinner and I was taking those with us. They looked gorgeous, but I don't think I put enough cinnamon and sugar inside. They weren't gooey enough in the middle. I have attempted it a second time, but that one didn't turn out as well. I guess I am just going to have to keep making cinnamon rolls until I get it right. Anyone want to be my taste testers?

Beckett turned 5 in June. Most years, his birthday has been pretty quiet. Mostly just our little family, and maybe a few other family members are there for cake and ice cream. But this year we decided to have a real party. A few days before, we called and invited friends and family to the celebration. It was really fun. More than we have ever done, that is for sure, but a lot of fun.

We started the day off with trying to catch a train. Beckett's preschool, Preschool Express, is train themed, so every year they have a little train that is in the South Ogden parade and they invite their students to ride on it. We thought Beckett would love it. So we worked hard to get out of the house as quickly as we could to get on the train at 9 (we don't get up at our house until 8 usually). We made it, but the train broke down and there would be no train the parade this year. We were bummed. Beckett was bummed, until Matt said he would take him to the train museum to make up for it. Then all he wanted to do was get out of there. Unfortunately, we had to wait for the parade to pass by. That was a long wait for a boy that wanted to go see some trains. He didn't even want to go get some of the salt water taffy they were throwing at the crowd. Luckily, South Ogden doesn't have a lot in their parade, so we were able to get out of there quickly. Matt dropped me off at our house so I could decorate Beckett's cake, while he took the kids to the train museum. They had a great time. They also rode on the front runner, to Clearfield and back, but hey, that was a train ride.

When they got back, the cake was done and we left to meet up with people at the Hill Air Force Museum. It was free and something that would be fun for all the kids, plus we had never been there. It was so cool! The kids loved it.

All the kids that came:

After that picture, Van leaned over and put his arm around Ally, who he had just met not more than 5 min. earlier. Van's got the moves. He is quite the player.

The kids had a great time, but I think the dads had a better time. They were more like kids than the kids were. It was funny. I think every boy has a dream to be a pilot at some point in their life.

They had on display this huge helicopter:

It was massive. The picture definitely doesn't do it justice. I think they are used to transport Navy Seals. So cool.

Here some more cute pics of our time at the museum:

I love Beckett's face in this picture and that there is a little hand reaching for that nob. 

After that, the party moved to our house. More people joined us there. We had cake and ice cream and opened presents, your standard gig. Beckett had a ball. He loved being the center of attention. He had started to unwrap one of his presents, a train, before we left for the Plane Museum, and then was very upset that we took it away. When we got home, he wanted to finish opening that present. He had a very difficult time waiting for all of the guests to arrive so he could finish what he had started.

He was so excited once he got it all opened. He has wanted James for a long time. He also got some more tracks and freight cars to go with his new train, lots of bubbles, books, a big bouncy ball, a big stuffed thomas, otter pops, and some little animals that came with a tent and fake fire for roasting marshmallows. There might be more than that, but I honestly can't remember.

After that, it was cake time. I have to say, I am very proud of how this cake turned out. That is two for two this year. (Any ideas for Matt's?)

I can't take credit for coming up with all of these ideas on my own. Ana suggested using a jelly roll for Thomas's tank. That suggestion made the whole cake. Someone else suggested using an ice cream cone for his funnel. Another freezing the cake so it is easier to decorate. I came up with the idea to use disposable bread pans for the cars and the cab on Thomas.

I could tell Beckett wanted this cake to be pretty accurate, so I really tried to make it as close to Thomas and his coaches as I could. I even put faces on Annie and Clarabell, Thomas's coaches. I also had left over cake from making the cab, so I decided to make a coal car. Unfortunately they didn't all fit lined up on the board, so I had to make it look like a car off to the side. Beckett loved it and noticed every little detail I put into it.

It was an awesome birthday and we were so glad to finally share it with friends and family. Thank you to everyone that came, last minute invite and all.

It is crazy to think that 5 whole years have gone by since he was born. I have been thinking about his birth lately and some things about him as he has been growing up. He is such a sweet, tender-hearted boy. He loves to cuddle and snuggle with just about anyone he feels comfortable with. He loves to laugh and make you laugh. He loves to have his back scratched. He loves to feel other people's silky clothes, but wont wear any himself. He loves to be in just his underwear, even in the winter. He loves me with all his heart. No matter how bad of a mom I can be, he still loves me and will give me the biggest hugs and tons of kisses. He is bright and can read about 10 or more words already. He is starting Kindergarten this year and I am so nervous. I hope he does well and has a great time. I know it is only Kindergarten, but it is the beginning of sending him out into the world on his own. It is the start of his journey in life to be more independent. It is a letting go, and I think I will have just as hard of a time leaving him in that classroom on the first day as he will letting me leave him. Don't get me wrong. I am already planning what I am going to do with only one child in the house with me for half the day, but it will be hard to let someone else have responsibility for him and watch out for him and make sure he is okay. I love that little guy and don't want him to grow up for a little bit longer. I have never really thought time went fast with my kids, but now that I am here at this point, I realize that he isn't going to be my little snuggle bug for much longer. He will one day stop climbing into bed with me in the mornings and snuggling for a little while before we get up and start the day, and my heart hurts a little just thinking of it. I love that little guy and he has been such a joy in our family and we would not be the same without him.