All we are is dust in the wind, Dude

December 1st, 2011 - One of the craziest and scariest days of my life. We woke up to the wind howling outside. I knew it was going to be rough getting Beckett to school that morning because he is afraid of the wind. Also, Matt had school that morning so I was flying solo. I decided that it was going to be okay to be late to school that morning. We took our time getting dressed and mentally prepared to go out the door. The power went out before we woke up, so that meant I had to go outside and open the garage doors by my own power. I am so grateful for electric garage door openers. That thing was so heavy and hard to lift. At one point, I almost said, "Forget it! He will just miss school today." I eventually got it open - Anabelle and I had to get breakfast since the power was out anyways. We drove to Beckett's school, only to find a telephone pole leaning towards the street, hanging only by the wires attached to it. There was a cop car parked in the middle of the street to prevent anyone from driving under it. Well, I turned around and went the other direction to his school. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed there were only a handful of cars in the parking lot, and they were all starting to pull out and leave. I put two and two together and realized that school was canceled that day. BK breakfast for everybody!

Driving in the wind was one of the most frightening things I have ever done. Billboards had lost their signs and tons of big debris flying all over. White knuckles the whole way. We went to a Burger King attached to a gas station (the one closer to us had no power either, which I found out after I got the kids out of the car and through the door of the place. grrrr). We had a nice, leisurely breakfast of french toast sticks, one of the best breakfast inventions ever. When we were finally done, I took a deep breath and braved the wind one more time to go home. Our house was pretty cold without power, especially because the power went off just before the heater was supposed to come on in the morning and heat the house back up to its day time temperature. Couldn't it have just waited a half hour to go out? I mean really? I tried to think of what we could do to waste some time and keep warm and came up with the idea to put up the tent in the living room. The kids would love it and hopefully it would consolidate heat inside the tent and keep us warmer a little longer. I called our friend Livia and invited her and Aspen to come over for our "camping trip". I wanted to make sure they had somewhere warm to be, but really, I just needed a sane adult to be with me to keep me calm. I had a very hard time handling the storm. I kept envisioning the huge trees in our back yard falling over or breaking the power lines that run through them. Part of our fence was already down, and some of our shingles had blown off. I was sure those trees were going to come down next and it really scared me. It also didn't help that we could hear the wind really well inside our house because our windows are a joke. They are so bad that the curtains were moving because the wind was coming through them. I was really frazzled. Livia and Aspen coming was such a blessing. (Sorry for being terrible company, Livia.)

On the plus side, the tent idea worked. It was noticeably warmer inside the tent and the kids had a ball. Also the wind started to die down not long after our guests arrived. We talked and kept the kids happy with cereal until it was time for Livia and Aspen to go. After they left, I realized that the house was just too cold to stay in any longer. Lucky for us, a friend invited us to her sister's house that had power. I braved driving again, which really wasn't bad but I was a basket case at this point. The kids played with all of the other kids there and had a great time. I just sat in a chair with my coat on the whole time and didn't talk much. I was totally checked out mentally, plus I felt like I was never going to get warm again. I tried to keep conversation going with my friend Sharice, but I just couldn't focus. After Sharice asked me if I was okay, I decided I needed to calm down and relax. I don't think I was able to really relax until I climbed into bed at my brother's house that night. I felt embarrassed about how much the storm affected me. Once I heard how bad the wind really was (hurricane levels), I didn't feel as embarrassed.

I figured there was no school the next day. I thought our power was still out and Davis county's schools were closed, so Ogden should be too. I was wrong. We had power and they had school that day. Funny how the day of the storm I did everything I could to get Beckett to school, and then end up missing the day that he did have it. Oh well. We enjoyed our free day just the same, and were very relieved to find no more damage had been done than the bit of fence that was down and some shingles that were on the ground instead of on our roof.

I was surprised how the kids weren't bothered by the storm, not even Beckett was upset after some pep talk. It has made me think about the scripture about becoming as a little child. Here they were in an unpleasant situation, even scary, but they were happy and not worried, because they were with Mom. They didn't whine about how unfair it was that this was happening to them. They didn't wish it away. They didn't even complain about it (I am sure playing in the tent had to do with that). They just knew that everything was fine. They had faith that I would protect them, that they would be safe no matter what. It sheds a new light on how I handled that day. I spent the day praying in my mind that those trees wouldn't come down and that our house would be protected, but never felt like it was enough. I just needed to keep praying about it, as if he couldn't hear me over all of the other people praying for the exact same thing that day. Shouldn't one sincere prayer be enough? Shouldn't I have prayed and then trusted or had faith in Heavenly Father that it was going to be okay? Even if we did loose our roof or one of those trees did come down, wouldn't Heavenly Father have taken care of us? And this goes for other problems that come up in life. I find myself having pity parties and "Woe is me" moments all the time. I guess I need to take this lesson from my kids and just trust that everything is fine. No matter what storms blow around me, I will be fine, as long as I am with my Heavenly Father.

March Update

Hey everybody. Sorry it has taken so long to update you all. Things have been crazy since we dropped Mom Jacob off at the airport. Anabelle had her first birthday last week. I can't believe it has already been one year. She is such a fun baby. She loves to cuddle all the time. I love to cuddle, but she seems to only want to do it when I have to make dinner or some other household chore. She is also a walking nut. She loves to walk. The first time we took her outside to walk, she loved it. And now whenever the door is open, she tries to go outside. She thinks it is a blast and that she is such a big girl. For her birthday, she got her first pair of shoes. The first time she wore them was at a park. It was also her second time walking on grass. She didn't move. She was really freaked out by the shoes and then by the uneven ground. It was really funny. She wouldn't even move when we held her hand. Here are some pictures of her eating her cake. I guess she didn't really eat her cake, she mostly smooshed it.

Beckett has grown up a little this past month. He is starting to enjoy books now. My mother lent us "One Fish, Two Fish" by Dr. Seuss and this book is what did it. He wants to read it almost every day before his naps and before going to bed. It is great. I was worried that he was never going to like books, but I have high hopes now. He has also started to become more mischievous. One day I was at my mother's house and I noticed that the kids weren't around and that it was kind of quiet. I started to search for them and started to hear giggling in the basement. I went down there thinking they were just playing in the little toy room under the stairs. No, they were in the bathroom splashing away in the toilet bowl. I thought I was going to die. YUCK! So gross. He also loves his new independence. He loves that he can get into the cupboards all by himself. He will get the cereal out or the crackers, and then after he has gotten his spoils, he will leave it on the floor. Belle will then proceed to dump them all out on the floor. I guess they have become partners in crime.

Matt got fired a little over a month ago for being an honest guy, and then last week got a better job that fits him perfectly. He takes pictures of cars for dealerships and then puts them on the Internet with the facts on each car. So it all turned out for the better. I just want to say thank you to everyone that helped us stretch our finances and for all of the prayers. We have been truly blessed.

So, during the month that Matt was out of work, we had a camping trip in our living room. We set up our tent in the living room, put in the mattress that goes on our hide-a-bed and some camping chairs, got out our camping lamp, and made smores bars (made from Golden Grahams). Christa, my sister, came up and spent the night with us. We watched "Kung Fu Panda", one of our family's new favorite movies. Then Matt, Beckett, and I slept in the tent that night. It wasn't that bad. I think Beckett only woke up once. It was really fun. A nice way to shake it up.

There hasn't been much new going on with me. I am reading the Chronicles of Narnia and am really enjoying the series so far. A friend's blog has inspired me to do something special this month. I have decided to blog each day this month about something I am grateful for. It is the month of Easter and I want to honor what our Savior did by showing my gratitude. Today I am grateful that Matt has a job. I already started talking about it, I just want to expound a little bit more on it. I am grateful for it because now we don't have to sell our home and move back in with my parents (which is what Matt and I had started talking about if Matt didn't get a job by the first part of April). I am grateful for it because I can go to the store and buy some non-necessities and not feel guilty. I can cook whatever I want because we now have an in-come, not just an out-go (pun). I can now go to the Treehouse Museum with my kids and feel okay spending the $5 it takes to get us in. I can pay our bills with confidence. It is amazing how easily I can breathe now that we have money coming in. What a blessing work can be! The children and I will miss having Matt around more, but as soon as school is out, we will see him more again. Plus he now has something we haven't had for a long time with Matt's jobs - paid vacation - so we can take advantage of that too. I am grateful for Matt's job.