All we are is dust in the wind, Dude

December 1st, 2011 - One of the craziest and scariest days of my life. We woke up to the wind howling outside. I knew it was going to be rough getting Beckett to school that morning because he is afraid of the wind. Also, Matt had school that morning so I was flying solo. I decided that it was going to be okay to be late to school that morning. We took our time getting dressed and mentally prepared to go out the door. The power went out before we woke up, so that meant I had to go outside and open the garage doors by my own power. I am so grateful for electric garage door openers. That thing was so heavy and hard to lift. At one point, I almost said, "Forget it! He will just miss school today." I eventually got it open - Anabelle and I had to get breakfast since the power was out anyways. We drove to Beckett's school, only to find a telephone pole leaning towards the street, hanging only by the wires attached to it. There was a cop car parked in the middle of the street to prevent anyone from driving under it. Well, I turned around and went the other direction to his school. As I pulled into the parking lot, I noticed there were only a handful of cars in the parking lot, and they were all starting to pull out and leave. I put two and two together and realized that school was canceled that day. BK breakfast for everybody!

Driving in the wind was one of the most frightening things I have ever done. Billboards had lost their signs and tons of big debris flying all over. White knuckles the whole way. We went to a Burger King attached to a gas station (the one closer to us had no power either, which I found out after I got the kids out of the car and through the door of the place. grrrr). We had a nice, leisurely breakfast of french toast sticks, one of the best breakfast inventions ever. When we were finally done, I took a deep breath and braved the wind one more time to go home. Our house was pretty cold without power, especially because the power went off just before the heater was supposed to come on in the morning and heat the house back up to its day time temperature. Couldn't it have just waited a half hour to go out? I mean really? I tried to think of what we could do to waste some time and keep warm and came up with the idea to put up the tent in the living room. The kids would love it and hopefully it would consolidate heat inside the tent and keep us warmer a little longer. I called our friend Livia and invited her and Aspen to come over for our "camping trip". I wanted to make sure they had somewhere warm to be, but really, I just needed a sane adult to be with me to keep me calm. I had a very hard time handling the storm. I kept envisioning the huge trees in our back yard falling over or breaking the power lines that run through them. Part of our fence was already down, and some of our shingles had blown off. I was sure those trees were going to come down next and it really scared me. It also didn't help that we could hear the wind really well inside our house because our windows are a joke. They are so bad that the curtains were moving because the wind was coming through them. I was really frazzled. Livia and Aspen coming was such a blessing. (Sorry for being terrible company, Livia.)

On the plus side, the tent idea worked. It was noticeably warmer inside the tent and the kids had a ball. Also the wind started to die down not long after our guests arrived. We talked and kept the kids happy with cereal until it was time for Livia and Aspen to go. After they left, I realized that the house was just too cold to stay in any longer. Lucky for us, a friend invited us to her sister's house that had power. I braved driving again, which really wasn't bad but I was a basket case at this point. The kids played with all of the other kids there and had a great time. I just sat in a chair with my coat on the whole time and didn't talk much. I was totally checked out mentally, plus I felt like I was never going to get warm again. I tried to keep conversation going with my friend Sharice, but I just couldn't focus. After Sharice asked me if I was okay, I decided I needed to calm down and relax. I don't think I was able to really relax until I climbed into bed at my brother's house that night. I felt embarrassed about how much the storm affected me. Once I heard how bad the wind really was (hurricane levels), I didn't feel as embarrassed.

I figured there was no school the next day. I thought our power was still out and Davis county's schools were closed, so Ogden should be too. I was wrong. We had power and they had school that day. Funny how the day of the storm I did everything I could to get Beckett to school, and then end up missing the day that he did have it. Oh well. We enjoyed our free day just the same, and were very relieved to find no more damage had been done than the bit of fence that was down and some shingles that were on the ground instead of on our roof.

I was surprised how the kids weren't bothered by the storm, not even Beckett was upset after some pep talk. It has made me think about the scripture about becoming as a little child. Here they were in an unpleasant situation, even scary, but they were happy and not worried, because they were with Mom. They didn't whine about how unfair it was that this was happening to them. They didn't wish it away. They didn't even complain about it (I am sure playing in the tent had to do with that). They just knew that everything was fine. They had faith that I would protect them, that they would be safe no matter what. It sheds a new light on how I handled that day. I spent the day praying in my mind that those trees wouldn't come down and that our house would be protected, but never felt like it was enough. I just needed to keep praying about it, as if he couldn't hear me over all of the other people praying for the exact same thing that day. Shouldn't one sincere prayer be enough? Shouldn't I have prayed and then trusted or had faith in Heavenly Father that it was going to be okay? Even if we did loose our roof or one of those trees did come down, wouldn't Heavenly Father have taken care of us? And this goes for other problems that come up in life. I find myself having pity parties and "Woe is me" moments all the time. I guess I need to take this lesson from my kids and just trust that everything is fine. No matter what storms blow around me, I will be fine, as long as I am with my Heavenly Father.

Quiet

Today, I am grateful for quiet. Right now my kids are taking a nap. It is so quiet in the house. It is so peaceful, so calm. I love it. I should probably take a nap, but I wont, too much to do. That is one of the best things about going to the temple. The quiet. I am a person that doesn't like silence a lot. When I clean or do projects, I turn on a movie or an Office episode to have background noise. I like background noise I guess is what it really is. But right now, with no noise (especially not tantrums) it is really nice and I am really diggin' it. Maybe I will try to have more of these quiet times in the future. I am grateful for quiet.

Motivation

Today, I am grateful for motivation. I have been recently reminded of some projects that I have never finished, but need to. Some have been sewing projects, others are organizational project. With an upcoming week at my mothers, I think I am going to try to finish some of my projects. One of those being my temple apron. I got the kit for that the Christmas before I got married and it still sits in my sewing box, waiting to be finished. That is 5 years! I can't believe I have not finished it. What a procrastinator?! And if the reminders of what I haven't finished isn't enough of a motivation, I have now thought up some new projects to do next week. I am motivated to get them done though. Only time will tell if this motivated feeling actually gets me to do something, but I really want to get these projects done and out of my "to do" pile. I am grateful for motivation

Fresh

Today I am grateful to start anew. I just got home today from watching my brother's children. We had a lot of fun and I learned a lot about what it takes to be a mom of six kids and if I really want to do that. If I can be as organized and my children as disciplined as those four were, I think I can make it. I just need to do it gradually, not all at once. But now that I am home, I am excited to start anew with my schedule (even though it will all get messed up next week when I staying with my mom while Matt is on a road trip with his brothers). I guess it is really going to be implemented in two weeks, but I am going to spend the week planning it out and making it something the children and I can do. After watching the supernanny for a couple of months now, I have realized how much I really need to do this. I have two very great kids, and in order to keep them great, I need to step up to the plate a little more. I am looking forward to planning out a learning schedule for Beckett. I have a friend that started a blog about this very thing. I love it! It has really helped me to come up with how to teach Beckett, which has been something that I have really struggled with. I have been asking my mom for ideas as well. If any of you other moms or elementary teachers have any ideas on teaching toddlers or creating a routine. I would really appreciate it. This will be a good step for me as a mom. I am grateful to start anew.


P.S. I am sorry to disappoint you all, but I am not going to make up all those days that I missed. I know, it is horrible news, but I can't really remember the last few days, so I am just going to let it slide.

Sisters

Today, I am grateful for my sisters. I am very close to my sisters. They are my best friends. I do a lot with them. I always have a blast with them. We can be so silly sometimes and just laugh our guts out. We love to watch the Cosby Show together and Pirates of Penzance. I totally trust them with watching my kids. In fact, when they can't, I always have trouble thinking of who I can call next. Not that there isn't anybody I could call, I just can't think of any because I am so used to calling my sisters. I feel like I understand them and they get me so well. I didn't always have a good relationship with my older sister and that was hard on me, but now we are so close that I it makes up for all of those years we didn't get along. It is probably one of my dreams that have actually come true. My little sister and I have just always gotten along and that has been great too. I was her 2nd mother for a long time, which I think is one reason why we get along so well. Also, where I am not like one sister, I am like the other. It is so nice to be so close to both of my sisters. Earlier today, I went to a sealing of a cousin and got talking to my other cousin, the sister of the one getting married. She was saying that she was crying in her sleep because she was going to miss her sister so much. It reminded me of the night before I got married. All three of us slept in my older sister's bed. It is one of my favorite memories I have of us together (not to mention the fact that I had to sleep on the end of the bed with my face half off because our reception was the night before and I couldn't mess up my hair). I am grateful for my sisters.

Missed again

Yesterday, I wanted to say that I am thankful for spring time. I love all of the seasons for different reasons. Each one has its own beauty. What I love about spring is what is going on right now, when everything is in bloom and the trees have popcorn all over them, especially the pink popcorn trees. (I just have to say when we bought our house, I was so excited that we had a pink popcorn tree in our yard) I love how green and refreshing everything is. I love all the pretty flowers and their bright colors. I love the feeling of stepping outside into the sunshine and the goosebumps I get because of the warmth. I love the smell in the air - blossoms, flowers, fresh cut grass. It is like the whole world is clean after the snow has melted and the spring rains are gone. It is so beautiful and it renews my soul to look outside at it. I am thankful for spring time.





Today, I am grateful for my husband. I guess it is about time I got sappy again. He has worked so hard since I stopped working to stay home and have kids. He loves me no matter how bad my mood is. He understands me so well, even when I don't think he really does. He has taught me so much about faith and that things will always work out for our best (there have been times that his faith has gotten on my nerves and I just wanted him to worry a little, but in the end it always did work out). He still finds me sexy after two kids. He listens to my ridiculous questions that he knows he can't answer, but still humors me. He puts up with the fact that I start talking to him mid-thought instead of giving him a little background about what I have been thinking. He even tries to figure out what I could be thinking about instead of acting like I'm a loony and getting upset with me. He has a true passion for cars. Even though it does get on my nerves from time to time, I do appreciate it. I admire his desire to learn all he can about cars. I can't think of any hobby that I am that interested in. He tries to do what he can to help me when I am stressed. He takes the kids upstairs to play to give me a little "me time". He loves me all the time (even the stinky times). He tries to make me laugh when I am upset or angry. When he apologizes, he means it. Anyway, this list could go on and on. I am grateful for my husband.

3 in 1

Okay, so this last weekend was a little crazy. We started watching my brother's kids yesterday while they are in Hawaii this week (lucky dogs), so I was running around getting ready for this week. That is why I haven't blogged for the last few days.

So on Saturday, I was grateful for Beckett sitting on his potty. No, he didn't "go", but he did sit on it, with his pants off. The diaper was still on, but the pants were off. We have been reading a Kermit the Frog potty training book to him for last week or so, and Friday night, he asked to sit on the potty. So we all jumped up and ran into the bathroom. When we got in there, he wanted to get into the tub. The only reason I can come up for that is that he has pooped in the tub a couple of times (and yes, it was disgusting) and so he thinks that is a potty. Then I tried to get him on the big potty, but that didn't go over well. Luckily, we had purchased a little potty like a week earlier, but I hadn't opened it yet. So, naturally I ripped that sucker open and put it together as fast as I could. He loved it. He thought he was pretty hot stuff. On Saturday, after he woke up, he wanted to sit on it again, and then he wanted to take it in the living room to sit on while he watched a movie. Of course I had to put my foot down on that. The potty has to stay in the bathroom. (I never thought I would have to make that one our family rules, but it is now) So, we are a step closer to potty training. I am a little excited to get started on this. I am not looking forward to the accidents, but only one child in diapers is a big plus. I am grateful for Beckett sitting on the potty.

Yesterday, I was grateful for a new apostle. We had stake conference and the new apostle, Elder Neil L. Anderson, spoke at it. He did a wonderful job and sounds like he is going to be a great apostle (not that anyone called to the position wouldn't be great). He sounds like such a loving man and very encouraging. What a blessing to have a new apostle called after one passes away?! The church doesn't die just because the apostles do. It lives on through continued revelation and calling new apostles and prophets. How wonderful! I am grateful for a new apostle.

Today, I am grateful that my brother's children are so easy to take care of. This morning, I got out of bed at 7:30, the time my sister-in-law told me to get up. I was expecting a chaotic is morning, rushing around getting the kids ready for school. I was so wrong. I knew that Ben's kids got up early on their own, but I didn't know that they would get completely ready all by themselves. I was amazed. I only had to straighten Brookelyn's hair. I didn't even have to fix breakfast. And the children were totally ready way early. I think I might be able to handle being a mother of 6 for a week. I might be singing a different tune later on, but right now I am thinking I will be able to do just fine. I am grateful that my brother's children are so easy to take care of.

Cuddling and snuggling

Today I am grateful for cuddling and snuggling. I am a lazy person. I'm not going to lie. I love to stay in bed as long as I can each morning. I could get up with Matt and start my day before the kids get up and get some dishes done or straighten up the living room before the kids mess it up again, but I don't. I would much rather stay in bed. I do justify my laziness by the fact that Belle still wakes up in the night and so I need to sleep in to make up for it. Part of that is true, but I only get like a half hour more. But there is one major perk to my laziness. Beckett comes in my room after he wakes up and cuddles with me in bed for like 10 minutes. Some mornings when Belle wakes up early, I cuddle with her in my bed too. I love it. I can see myself in the future with all of my kids snuggled down in my bed. (If so, I think Matt and I are going to have to get a King size bed, which I have no problem with) Cuddling and snuggling is such a great way to start the day. I do love to do that with Matt too, but most mornings (as stated earlier) I am not alive when he wakes up. I get that in at night before we go to sleep. I don't like going to sleep without it. I am grateful for cuddling and snuggling.

Little things

Today I am grateful that Matt did the dishes. He didn't do them all, but he did do a few before I woke up and he had to leave for work. It was a very pleasant surprise to discover dishes in the washer that I hadn't put in there the night before. I loved it. Any guys out there reading this (yeah, right), women love these kind of surprises. Oh sure, flowers and chocolate are great, but the real way to our heart is to help us around the house. I am grateful that Matt did the dishes.

Good Movies

Today I am grateful for good movies. Anyone that knows me, knows that I love movies. I love putting one on for background noise while I do housework or exercise or do a project. I love to put on a movie to help me relax or unwind. I love watch movies with friends and family. One of my favorite things to do is show someone a new movie that I have found or that they haven't seen that I love. "What's up Doc?" is one my favorites to show people. It has so many great quotable lines and fun characters (plus one of the characters is named Eunice Burns, how can you go wrong with a name like that). There are many others that I love to show people too (mostly old movies because most people haven't seen them and don't know what they are missing). Recently, I have loved showing people "Lars and the Real Girl". I just love the escape that can be found in movies. I love the music and the storylines and cinematography. I am grateful for good movies.

Modern Conveniences

Today I am thankful for free slide show E-cards. I know this is a little strange to be thankful for, but I love them and they are so much more personalized than a regular e-card. I made one for my aunt today and I loved it (she loved it too, but that has to do with my cute kids and Beckett singing "Happy Birthday" adorably). It was so fun to do and easy to make. All you do is go to Hallmark.com and click on E-cards. Then click on the birthday E-cards. Then in the sub-headings on the left, click on "add photo". Then pick the card you want and download the software. Once you download the software, you can make them when ever you want without having to get online again. After you download the software, you add your photos and videos to the card, and viola, you are all done. You can pay for them if you want the person to be able to print off the card and photos and it be full screen without advertisement. It is about the same amount as you would spend on a regular card from the store. So why not make your own that is totally personal and your own?! For Free!! You can also post them on your blog or Facebook or myspace. Pretty cool, huh? Oh, they do have other types of cards than Birthday cards and I think they have plan slide shows too. Anyway, I loved making my E-card and just wanted to share. I am thankful for free slide show E-cards.

Nap Time

Today I am grateful for nap time. I know I am one lucky Mom because I am able to get my children to take their naps at the same time. Usually I put Belle down first and Beckett goes down within the next hour and then I am free for about an hour and a half. But today, Belle went down second so I got like two and a half blissful hours to myself. What did I do with that precious time you ask? I actually got to workout. It felt great. It was wonderful to exercise without the children all of a sudden needing me right then. I tell you, kids know exactly when you don't want them to need you and then that is exactly when they need you. It happens every night when I make dinner. But not today! I got major me time and I loved every minute of it. I am grateful for nap time.

The Savior

Okay, so today's is an obvious one. Today, I am grateful for the Savior. He is everything to me. He has given me everything through His atonement. He sacrificed everything, including His will and life, for us, His brothers and sisters. He never faltered. He asked for help and strength, but He did not give up. He knew what would become of us if He didn't finish His mission. He loved all of us that much to not give up. What a blessing the atonement and the resurrection is for all of us?! I am pretty sure we will never be able to fully comprehend the impact of what the Savior did for us in this life. He had true, pure love for each and everyone of us. Through the hard times I have had through my life, I have learned of His love for me and what He wants from me and that I am stronger than I think I am. When others serve me and when I serve them, I feel as though I have a glimpse of who the Savior is. Service, or Charity, truly is the pure love of Christ. What a blessing it has been to grow up in a church that portrays Jesus as such a loving and forgiving God. He wants us to succeed, that is why he atoned for our mistakes. Another blessing is that we focus on the risen Savior, not the dead one. He lives! What a glorious and happy knowledge we have! And because He is not dead, He continues in His work today. He has not stopped and wont until He has done everything He can to bring as many of His brothers and sisters home as He can. I know the Savior loves each of us so much. I know he knows our sorrows and our joys. He rejoices with us in our accomplishments and suffers with us during the tough times. How wonderful it is to have someone right by our side, cheering us on. He understands us so well and loves us more than we know. I can't think of a better person than my Savior to be my advocate and mediator at the judgment seat of God. He made it possible for me to be with husband and family forever. I will never be able to repay my Redeemer. All He asks of me is my best. I think I can do that for the person that did far more than I can do for myself. I am grateful for the Savior.

Goggles

Today I am grateful for goggles. A few weeks ago I pulled out some swim goggles and put them on me and the kids. They loved it. Today Beckett found them again and wanted me to put them on Anabelle again. Anabelle seemed pretty happy to let me put them on her (I must say I was surprised, most kids hate things on their face). I think she enjoyed looking at the world through blue lenses. It also made me laugh to see her having so much fun wereing them on her face. She totally hammed it up too. She would do a loud, fake chuckle. Beckett thought it was hilliarious and everytime she pulled them off, he would give them back to get me to put them on again. Matt thought it was pretty funny too. It was great and made my day. I am grateful for goggles.

Home and a clean desk

Sorry for missing yesterday. Yesterday I was grateful for going home. I spent the week at my parent's home with my older sister so she wasn't home alone. We had fun. We watched some movies, we played some games, and we entertained my grandparents and aunt. It was great. But, as great of a time as we had, it was really nice to go home and sleep in my own bed and know exactly where dishes are and eat whatever food I want to. It was so nice to walk in my own door and feel free to put my stuff wherever I want. To be in my familiar surroundings again feels so comforting. I am grateful for going home.

Today I am grateful for a clean desk. While the kids were napping, I decided I would clean off the desk for Matt. It looks loads better. I can't believe how much better I feel while sitting here at the desk typing. I don't feeling claustrophobic from the mounds of papers sitting on the desk. Matt was so surprised when he got home. I think it made his day. He finishes up his work at home on the computer, so having a clean desk makes it so much easier. I also feel a sense of accomplishment. I got something done that has been bothering, not only me, but Matt too. I am grateful for a clean desk.

Rivers and streams

Today I am grateful for rivers and streams. This week is my little sister's spring break and so my parents took her to Sundance for their vacation. They invited me and the kids to come to their little cabin/condo place at the resort for the day today. It was gorgeous. Best of all was the river that ran down the mountain behind their place. I love the sound of rushing water. It is so beautiful and calming. My Grandpa Humpherys used to have a cabin up in Sundance when I was really little and that same river I listened to today ran right by it and I remember how it sounded. My old house used to have a stream running through the back of it and on rainy days it would sound so great. It would swell and rush down our yard and it just sounded so wonderful and relaxing. I love that sound. The steady white noise would bring a peace to your soul. I hope to someday have a stream in the yard of our permenant home. I am grateful for rivers and streams.

Mom

Today I am grateful for my mom. I look up to her so much. Not just because she is my mom, but because she is so much stronger than I am. She loves all of her children so much and tries to do everything she can to be fair and give them what they need. She has been dealt a difficult hand and she just keeps going on and doesn't give up. She has her hard days, but she still reads her scriptures and prays and tries not to get angry at God. I know she prays for each of us and worries about each of us. She is so proud of our accomplishments and who we have become. She loves each of her grandchildren so much and is so proud of their accomplishments. She beams when they are baptized. She is always telling me that a mom is a teacher and you have to be constantly looking for ways to teach your children. She knows so many little fun kids' songs. More than I every knew exsisted. Music and teaching kids is her passion. One of her favorite things to do with her grandkids is read to them. She has an amazing eye for interior design, even though she has never taken a class for it. She taught herself to cut her own hair (out of rebellion, but hey, if that is what it took). She can sew most anything. She truly studies the scriptures and the modern prophets' words and inspires me to be better at my personal scripture study. She has more patience than almost anyone I know. When I get glimpses into her life, I realize how much she truly sacrifices and endures for her children. I love her so much and hope that I can become more like her. I am grateful for my mom.

The Church

Today I am grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Today is April 6th, a historic day in our Church. It is the birthday of the organization of the Church, Christ's resurrection is believed to have happened on this day, also his birth is believed to be around this day, and many other special things have happened on or around this day in our Church's history. Add to that list the wonderful General Conference we just had, and therefore I felt today would be a good day to express my gratitude for it.

I grew up in the Church. I never really questioned it's truth. I have just always known. I have had my difficult times that have tried my testimony, but it has never diminished. It has given me my family, my beliefs, my strength, my endurance, my path, many of my friends, and so many other things. I know this is what everybody says, but I don't know where I would be without it. I know I would probably have a similar disposition and personality. But I know I would have the strength of character that I have now. Not that I am some amazingly strong person, but through the trails that I have gone through and how they taught me to turn to the Lord, I am much stronger than I would have been. I can even say it has saved my life and given me the reason to keep on truckin' on. It one of the reasons Matt and I survived the past few months. This Church is a huge part of my life and I am forever grateful for how it has blessed my life. I am grateful for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Here are the promised pictures of my new 'do. Enjoy!

Silliness

Today I am grateful for random times of silliness. Yesterday I found myself doing something that on any other day I probably would have gotten upset with Beckett for doing (and will probably live to regret showing Beckett how to do). A few days ago, Beckett had gotten a deck of cards in his Wendys' Kids meal. During General Conference, I wanted to keep the kids happy and occupied, so I got this crazy idea and started to throw the cards in the air and scattered them all across the room. Beckett had so much fun and giggled tons. Belle just kind of sat there, not knowing what to think. The crazy thing is that this was the best he has ever picked up his toys, but that was only because he would pick them up so I could throw them in the air again. Matt was shaking his head at me, but it was lots of fun.

While making dinner, I have been known to dance to show tunes. Beckett and I do kicks all around the kitchen. It is so fun and I love making Beckett and Anabelle laugh.

Today I was goofing off with my sisters a little and it just makes you feel so good inside to not care what people think and make them laugh. I am grateful for random times of silliness.

New Hair

Today I am grateful for pampering and a new hairdo. After over a year, I got my hair highlighted and cut tonight. Getting a new hairdo makes me feel like a new woman. I am excited to do it and to look good. Maybe next week, after the novelty has worn off, I wont have as much of a spring in my step, but for now, I am feelin' great. I have always loved getting my hair played with and to have someone message my scalp and then "play" with my hair while it is getting styled, felt so good and was really relaxing. I love the way it turned out and how I look. Up until about 5 years ago, I had never dyed my hair (and was really proud of the fact, not many girls my age could say that), and then I won a make-over and had it dyed for the first time. I was so scared. I liked the way it turned. I wouldn't say I am addicted to it, like some girls I know, but having a new look every once in a while really makes a difference on your outlook (at least for a little while). I am grateful for pampering and a new hairdo.

I was going to post pictures of my new 'do, but I couldn't get it to work and it is late. Tomorrow I will post them.